Hagan Guåhan Mariånas

Thank you for visiting my heart, I’m so grateful you have been called here.

Si Zea Francesca Pangelinan Nauta yu, familian Galaide yan Kotla. My names in order mean Light Free One Singing Tongue Pirate; this is my prophecy. I am an indigenous Chamoru or Taotao Tåno from Guåhan giya Islas Mariånas–commonly known as Guam of the Mariåna Islands. My parents, my grandmother, her sisters, my papa, and all 15 of their children raised me in the villages of Santa Rita and Yo’na. My maternal grandparents Engracia Cruz Diaz and Francisco Sablan Pangelinan were Taotao Sumai, displaced after WWII, built the now village of Santa Rita. From the ruins of war, they built a life for themselves, their 15 children, their clans, and their communities by living off the land they purchased in Ilig or Maleyok. I belong to that land. My paternal grandmother is Lucy Camacho Anania–taotao Yo’na–and my grandfather is Pete Nauta. I am still learning this side of my family.

According to family history and AncestryDNA, I am a medley of Chamoru, Filipina, Sicilian, Spanish, Portuguese, Basque, Irish, Chinese, French, Indigenous American, and African.

My childhood was working in the låncho (ranch) helping raise chickens, pigs, and all kinds of fruit trees; maintaining the uriyan guma (area around the house); selling i guinahå-ta (what we had); cooking to feed our huge family in our many celebrations, and dalalaki (following and learning from) my grandma, my dad, and all of my aunties and uncles. My mother was foundational in starting and growing the educational organization of Guampedia, so her work greatly influenced my involvement in and awareness of cultural heritage, and my identity as an indigenous daughter of the Mariånas under U.S. colonialism. My father was an athlete and radio personality on Guåhan for over 30 years, and really a jack of all trades, so I inherited his creative expression, his love for music, and his ambition. Their love was foundational in pursuing all my interests and aspirations. I cultivated my interests in dance, music, and sports which eventually became parts of my identity. My family raised me with Chamoru cultural values my whole life, and I didn’t know what cultural values were–until I visited the United States of America.

After being in a stolen continent for a month, I saw the worst of what U.S. Imperialism can do to Native peoples, their ecosystems, and their cultures. Their colonial claws are so deeply twisted into the land, even I knew it was unrecognizable to the ancestors and it was my first time there. There was natural beauty in many places of course, but even in those places, the winds sang songs of deep sadness and loss. I feared this for our islands in Oceania.

I made it my mission to explore, learn about, and protect our lands, ocean, rich culture and history, language, and way of life so we will never lose it, or worse: be taken from us… and I invite you along with me on this journey. Like all, my path is unpredictable, long, winding, and challenging; sometimes I don’t even know where I’m going. I’ve fallen many times, gotten back up, and many times just laid and wallowed in my struggle, but my loved ones and my ancestors always pick me back up. In this blog, I will share my adventures and what I learn from them for anyone to reconnect and start your own journeys back to i hale’-ta (our roots), and to help myself perceptualize just what life, Mother Earth, the ancestors and the gods are trying to teach me.

Si Yu’us Ma’åse